To be quite honest, starting out, I was not at all enthusiastic about this post, because... Well, it's Raleigh.
Sure, I'm probably going to sound a bit like the typical Yankee-Douche by saying this but once you've lived in New York, many other cities short of Paris or London are really going to pale in comparison. (Asheville being excluded, I'll tell ya'll all why some other day)
In any case I just lazily Googled me up some happy little images of the downtown Raleigh skyline... found many generic pictures like this...
And this...
Oooh, sure haven't seen that light effect before.
Yeah, those are like, very nice... If I was trying to throw a cheap brochure together for some indifferent tourist. But, No, I'm not... and These pictures do little to define the character of Raleigh...
Because the truth of the matter is, There really isn't that much to Raleigh asside from this...
"Little Boxes on the hillside"
Yep, I'd have to say a great big chunk of what Raleigh consists of is pretty much a shit-ton of sub-divisions.
"Little boxes made of Ticky-Tacky"
But surely there's more to it than just a spit of tall buildings and eerily picturesque homes that brings to mind the pastel paradise of Edward Scissorhands.
Well....Yeah.... I guess...
I mean, there are the more notable landmarks like....
The Raleigh Museum of Science
And...
The Governor's Mansion
Which are.... nice and all, but do they really speak to the character of this little city?
No, I don't think they do...
SO, so so so...
I squinted my eyes and leaned in close to the computer screen, trying to scour the useless blerbs of stale plastic pictures to find some of those lesser known places, the little hidden gems. Something with character, and a touch of pure Raleigh Charm...
This is what I came up with...
Old Raleigh home
This one house takes 'Character' and smacks you right in the face with it. It's located downtown in, (Or at least on the outskirts) of the historical 'Old Raleigh' district.
Old Yates Mill Pond
I think I've heard of this place but I've never paid a visit. I think it could be private property. But it definitely has it's own charm right?... Shut up of course I'm right.
Raleigh Art Musem
I don't know where these are, or if they're still around, but I hope I can find them. These are super huge art sculptures made entirely by sticks. I believe the picture was taken back n 2005, so there is a strong possibility these guys aren't around anymore... which s a bummer, I'm gonna look into it.
So yeah guys what do you think? Raleigh seems like a pretty okay place huh? Yeah... so maybe nothing truly significantly awesome or unique sure... I mean what do you want in a city... Some kind of unknown alien lifefo....
Wait....
What's that?
Hang on a sec... I...
What the hell?
Oh....
oh....
OH
MY
FUCK....
Okay, so... uhh.....while I'm browsing I find this interesting little picture that looks much like someone mistakenly posted a picture from their colonoscopy...
Intrigued, I give her a little click, thinking I'll be directed to some sort of Wake Med Hospital medical journal or the like... you know...
I didn't find a medical journal...
I found this...
Raleigh Sewer Monster
Yeah and I'm not saying 'Raleigh Sewer Monster' to be facetious. That thing is... in FACT a true blue (Or, grossly visceral and flesh toned) "Sewer Monster."
Don't believe me?
Well... thought you might say that....
Good old Youtube to the rescue bitches!
Enjoy! ^_^
Mm.... just delicious looking ain't she?
Actually it's no mystery as to what this thing is... It's actually some kind of colony of sewer worms... or it could be the first sign of the Zerg invasion... *shrugs* I dunno...
But HELL YEAH
alright Raleigh! You were looking pretty light for a minute there but you pulled a nice one out your ass at the last minute... (Literally)
I do hope you all enjoyed your tour of Raleigh North Carolina. I sure did...
Vomit bags are near the exit.









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