(Day 14) A picture of you last year – how have you changed?

Ummm.... yeah, I don't have a picture of myself from last year.

And the reason why is, well because I never liked taking pictures of myself anyway. Like... EVER.
And it's not about being self conscious or anything, in fact it's quite the opposite. I feel, (for myself, not necessarily for others) that there is nothing more conceited and self serving than taking a bunch of glamor shots of yourself to sprinkle all over the internet social media sites. For some people, pictures are a medium of self expression, others to capture a special moment,  for others it's just fun, for ME though it would serve no real purpose other than puffing myself up, because I know myself as a person, and I don't use pictures in that way.


I write for those reasons and purposes... self expression, capturing a moment or emotion, and for fun. Photography, in MY hands has no artistic merit or redeeming values.

Now having said all of that... The fact that I was excruciatingly huge and pregnant last year has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with not having a picture from that time...

Oh hell okay... yeah it does...

So I am normally not a fan of pictures on a good day, could you imagine being all swollen, and angry with child? Would you want to take a picture? Naw, you'd be like, 'Get that camera out of my face before I dragon kick you in the gonads.' (Which I'm pretty sure I said to someone at least once last year.)

As far as how I have changed... god... Again, last year was such an anomaly for me, because I had never been pregnant, and I had never been more evil. My emotional irregularity at that time was so extreme that I was an entirely different person. An AWFUL person. Someone who hated the world, and would see it annihilated by an asteroid or zombie apocalypse and would have sat atop the pile of smoldering rubble with a chocolate bar and a smile.

So how have I changed? I'm totally not that person anymore. I've reverted back to my former, sane self. Before I got pregnant, I used to meditate; and while I haven't gotten back into doing that, I am certainly more meditative of thought. I am now a mother. That is the biggest change of my life... I never thought I could love so hard, or I could look at someone's face and be just, saturated with such happiness and affection the feeling approaches euphoria. I even love people more for having experienced the love I hold for my daughter. It's just through an all new level of connection with another human, that I have a new appreciation for the symbiotic nature of our relationship between ourselves and the planet. It's elemental, deep and vibrating... It's energy... I kind of understand the eternal nature of all energy better than I used to. And as of right now, words cannot express what I truly mean by that...

Some writer you are huh? lol

I'll figure out a way to share it soon enough, and maybe it'll manifest itself as my novel or short story...

In any case, I see no reason why everyone on the planet shouldn't experience the same feeling of unending love and sense of connection with the infinite pool of energy and love... Everyone should be able to touch God as I have... their paths to God might be different, but so long as they arrive at God's love and embrace, it doesn't matter...